ANYONE MISSING A 'TAYLOR'S' DUMMY?

I happened across a nugget of coprolite wisdom towards the end of May; albeit hidden away on page 43 of the Reporter, in which, astonishingly, an almost unrecognisable, smartly suited and booted’ councillor was featured clutching yet another trifling award for Ashton Market.

Gone were the scruffy jeans, the high vis’ jerkin and look-a-like trainers; to be replaced by a scrubbed-up ‘Taylor’s dummy’ that looked like it had just been kidnapped from Burton’s Window and for which, if you were not already aware, claims total responsibility for what’s left of Tameside’s markets! (…that is until anything goes wrong, then it becomes someone else’s problem!)

This time, the award was for being ‘The Most Coach Friendly Shopping Destination’ in the National Coach Tourism Awards, organised by the trade magazine, National Coach Monthly!

Now, I don’t know about you, but finding myself unable think of a dedicated place in or around Ashton Market, or even in the whole of Tameside where a group of tourist laden coaches could park up for the day, I plucked up my courage and after popping a couple of Prozac capsules to ward off the inevitable anxiety attack I usually encounter when conversing with bureaucrats, I rang the councils Parking Services Department.

It went something like this:

Ring Ring, …Ring Ring, …Ring, Ring   ….Then the usual scripted insincere nonsense of:

“Hello, Tameside Council, ***** speaking, how can I help you?....”

“Yes, Good morning, can you put me through to someone in the Parking Department, please?”

“Oh, we can deal with that here!”

OK, great, can you tell me where I can park a 56 seat coach, near to the centre of Ashton?”

“Just hold the line, ….....… (there followed 2 minutes of annoying canned music)

“Hello caller, …is it for today?”

“No, no, it’s for future reference!”

“Well you’ve got to write-in in the first instance or send an email at least a week before hand requesting a space and giving us the coach’s details and registration number!”

“Oh, I see, but where exactly is the coach park?”

On Gas Street, behind Bootses! …but as I say, you’ll have to email a week beforehand to request a space to be reserved.”

“OK, well thank you for your help!”

So, if Tameside council have received an award for ‘The Most Coach Friendly Shopping Destination’ based on the facilities as described, one wonders what those other towns who didn't get such an accolade are offering.

The mind boggles!

BLOGGING BACK WITH A VENGEANCE

"Er' sorry folks but I think I got it wrong again!" "...Shit, did I just say sorry?"

Apologies to readers for my prolonged absence from blogging, but I will pull my finger out and get back into the swing of things now the endless election circus is over bar the shouting over the replacement for Red (I got it wrong again) Ed Miliband; which, looking at the calibre of ‘candidates’self-promoting themselves, you could be forgiven for thinking it’s more like 50 shades of Blair, - if these characters are the best that Labour have got, well that's fine with me as it will surely see them languishing in opposition for many, many years.

Now, just because I have taken time out from writing, doesn't mean I stopped observing the various shenanigans which have been going on inside the now empty Ashton Town Hall. Especially the underhanded removal of various Tory committee chairs, who it is rumoured, would not dance to the leaders tune.

(Watch this space for the full story at a later date)

And then of course there’s the ‘gift that keeps on giving’ the tinker 'tea-pot' Taylor, who

"You should stick to local government lad!"

still wouldn't understand the meaning of the word democracy if Leonard Cohen himself galloped down Globe Lane on a white charger singing the Sweet Freedoms Song.

Mind you, there are many words that the Bard of Dukinfield doesn't understand; not all of them those that are hard to spell. Like, listening, acting on and carrying out constituents wishes, especially when it applies to the wider electorate.

Any party that has been in power for decades eventually become a byword for all that was worst in local government. But, when it’s become such a long lucrative career, with very little chance of being voted out, complacency is bound to creep in.

So, councillors, if I may borrow the words of Sting:

Every move you make.

Every vow you break.

Every smile you fake.

Every claim you stake

I'll be watching you

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Husband & Wife councillors rule OK!

It's quite disappointing in a masochistic way.

Tameside Council's Executive Leader, Kieran Quinn has not added to his Blog since March 26th, so for the last few weeks I have not felt the need to prove that common sense is not so common!

Optimistically, one can only hope that after May 7th, I will never have to dispel the drivel contained within his 'Leaders Blog' ever again!

Roll on election day. 'carpe diem' (seize the day)

THE THOUGHTS OF CHAIRMAN JOHN

It helps me dazzle and fluoresce in daylight

Has anyone noticed the recent fall-off of ‘readers’ letters’ being published in our last surviving ‘local paper’ The 160 year old Tameside Reporter?

This week’s edition carried a meagre four! – Not too long ago they filled a double page spread and contained interesting a searching questions directed mainly at our civic leaders, many of who actually wrote back with explanatory answers!

However, despite reader/writer apathy, which on the face of it appears to becoming more and more rampant, one thing that can be relied on must be the tedious consistency of the appearance of the weekly letter, ostensibly penned by Cllr (Day-Glo) John Taylor.

It makes one wonder about the authorship of the piece when one reads the opening paragraph of his latest alleged correspondence; it reads, ‘I bet people won’t be surprised when I say that I always look forward to my copy of the Reporter’

Could it be because he can’t wait to read what his ghost writer has concocted for him this week?

No wonder regular readers are becoming more indifferent and unconcerned to the point of abandoning their compulsion to reach for their Biro, when one reads the overbearing drivel, which, considering he is supposed to be the Deputy Leader of Tameside Council; a position which carries an enormous responsibility as to how our council is run, his letters tell us little or nothing of local importance.

In light of this continuing demonstration of a general lack of concern or willingness to answer any direct questions, whilst never leaving any stone unturned in the pursuit of expanding his self-importance, one could be forgiven for concluding that 31 years of passing on his thoughts and dogmatic directions to a relatively few followers from the high office of the council offices, is more than enough.

So, people of Dukinfield use your vote wisely!

TAMESIDE ELECT ANOTHER BOAT LOAD OF WET SPONGES!

 John Taylor and his fellow Labour councillors take advantage
of another photo-call on Stamford Park Lake

Judging by the banality contained in a letter published in this week’s Tameside Reporter ostensibly penned by Cllr John Taylor, one could be forgiven for thinking either the local council elections had been cancelled or that he is so self-assured and supremely confident of another victory in his constituency of Dukinfield, that a letter telling us how much it rained last Saturday would have his Labour supporters so enthralled by the sheer drama of the deluge in which he’d found himself, that they’d vote for him out of sheer pity!

It makes one wonder; not without a little trepidation, just what triviality he will regale us with next week, should his letter be chosen for publication?

...What he had for tea on Tuesday evening might be good. - It would be certainly far more remarkable and extensive than his list of political achievements!

VISION TAMESIDE: STARTS HERE - COULD GO ANYWHERE!

You can learn quite a lot when you study the propaganda news releases which percolate with alarming alacrity from the inner-sanctum of Tameside council’s cabinet rooms.

"More Bull-s***
flying off a shiny shovel 

Their latest informs us of the progress of the ambitious project, called ‘Vision Tameside’ which will see the building of state-of-the-art college facilities, a smaller, more cost-effective public service centre and improved transport connectivity to the area.

 

In the council release, they tell us that according to ‘Independent analysis’ it is hoped that this will bring greater prosperity to the borough with £300 million of anticipated economic benefit through increased retail, more jobs and more apprenticeships!

Of course, there’s no mention of who was the author of this ‘Independent analyses’ is, or how much this crystal ball gazing document has cost,or over what time period, but they proudly tell us that these ambitious plans have been supported by 78% of participants consulted in the recent budget consultation!

Now, when one takes into consideration the fact that only 1004 (One thousand and four) out of 220,000 Tameside residents took part in the recent budget consultation. It means that Tameside councillors are telling us that they are justifying their spending plans based on the approval of  0.45% of the boroughs residents, who, like the rest of us, will not have had access to the financial analysis!

Hardly what one could call representative or democratic, is it!

Why is it that these career councillors think that when they quote statistics, they can hoodwink the populous?

"Eh, I only wear slip-ons!
 or should that be slip-ups?"

The only statistic with which Tameside councillors can claim any consistent accuracy is any time they have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 95% probability they'll get it wrong.

And nothing should strike more fear and trepidation into the pockets of the thinking man than when Cllr John Taylor throws in his tuppence and endorses anything vaguely financial, because along with that other intellectual titan Kieran Quinn, it wouldn't surprise me if they needed help to tie their own shoelaces, frankly.

So, instead of the usual waffle, could the 'council leaders' please just tell us how and on what time scale these estimated economic benefit figures are based.

Better still; - before the election, publish the ‘Independent analysis.’ So the remaining 218,996 of Tameside residents could have the opportunity of giving you the benefit of their opinion.

POLITICAL IRONY IS PREVALENT IN TAMESIDE

With General and Local elections looming, Tameside council have published a news release on their website announcing that there’s ‘no time like the present’ for young people to learn about the power of their vote!

“Those who vote decide nothing...”  

In their release they tell how students from Ashton Sixth Form College and Hyde Clarendon College took part in a ‘Bite the Ballot’ Democracy Day, organised by Tameside Council, -  apparently to demystify the voting process and switch them on to the world of politics by informing them of the influence they can have on society and their communities.

A noble cause! 

But, the very mention of the word democracy and Tameside’ in the same sentence should cause students who may be studying democracy to go and lie-down in a dark room and contemplate another career choice.

Because attempting to study democracy on a course organised by Tameside council, ostensibly in an effort to “demystify” the voting process in order to ‘switch students on’ to the world of politics, is like taking a group of vegetarians and teaching them how to slaughter sheep, pigs and cattle in a progressive abattoir!

I was taught that ‘democracy’ comes from two Greek words: demos – the people; and  kratos – power. So ‘democracy’ can be most simply defined as ‘people power’. 

Put simply, democracy is supposed to be rule by the majority! - In Tameside,democracy is easily redefined by the snake-oil salesmen of the Labour council, who manage to twist the truth by launching their propaganda machine.

"Those who count the vote decide everything.”

Now, I can understand the theory of a party neutral, not for profit community interest organisation aiming to increase the number of young people registered to vote and thus increase the turnout of young people at elections, but to run the event in a borough where the council operates on a cabinet system; where a small group of very powerful councillors make all the decisions; on an average 32% turnout; even if everyone eligible to vote chose to kick-out the ruling junta, the outcome would not change!

Tameside offers voters as much actual choice as a Stalinist one-party state.

Therefore, in Tameside, to say that any elected official is chosen by the people through majority rule is blatantly dishonest. What this says is that democracy is not ruled by the majority. It is merely ruled by the majority of voters.

So if one looks at democracy as practised in Tameside with a critical eye, democracy is revealed for the ridiculous and idiotic concept it is.