NATIONAL POO DAY… WTF?

QUICK, OR JOHN TAYLOR WILL CLOSE THE PARK!

In explaining why he took the controversial measure of ‘closing public footpath 27’ Cllr John Taylor may well have unintentionally uncovered a unique way to cut down on anti-social behaviour, reduce the jobcentre queue and re-finance Tameside council, offsetting the ‘cuts’ handed down from Central Government all in one foul scoop!

 

Pictured once again propping up an old ‘No Cycling’ sign, the councillor explained that ‘crime’ was the main reason to close the popular footpath but then he used the rest of his article to lecture us on the unsavoury consequences of dog fouling.

In his article he mentions TV presenter, Ben Fogle’s suggestion of starting a National Poo Day’ where he suggests ‘we all get out and clean our parks and streets of dog faeces’

Well I can’t see that working John, but I believe Tameside, if they put their best brains on it, could come up with much better suggestions.

For instance why not pass a by-law requiring dog owners to carry a visible bag in order to pick up their dog mess.

WHAT HAS SHE BEEN FEEDING HIM?

Similar to the council’s requirement that any motorist who wishes to park their vehicle in a council car park must show a valid parking ticket; any person walking a dog, must be seen to be carrying a visible shit-bag. If they don’t a £60 fine should be imposed.

Knowing how keen Cllr Taylor is to be photographed leading his ‘Black Bin Liner Gang’ why doesn’t he launch this crusade against dog fouling, by taking up position at the offending sites and distributing  ‘free’ bags for dog waste, to passing dog walkers.

If he is so keen to improve the situation he could demonstrate the depth of his community commitment by purchasing the bags himself from his £35k district councillors’ allowances.

He could also offer ‘free sacks’ at the civic hall, market stalls and at a number of local shops.

This, together with back-up from plain clothed wardens and patrollers who are authorised to hand out fines to dog owners whose pets foul parks or pavements, should hopefully prevent further unnecessary and unwanted public footpath closures.

However, if we must have a 'National Poo Day’ at least highlight the problems by offering incentives, rather than introducing draconian measures.

In his letter, Cllr Taylor writing in his usual caustic manner asks dog owner’s not to write in suggesting the council provides more bins, because he claims, they have plenty! But how often are those bins emptied councillor? 

If they are full, you cannot put dog waste in them, therefore, could it be that the council are partly culpable by not doing their job properly.

Therefore, as part of a local job creation scheme, daily dog poo collection teams should be instigated to empty the bins daily.

Of course the dog mess problem may not be so bad if the environmentalists within the council took the pressure off shops and supermarkets by dissuading them from giving out plastic bags to the point where some plastic grocery bags are charged at 10p each. I’m sure plenty of people re-use their grocery bags to pick up after dogs.

We have just heard that animal charities, vets and union chiefs have welcomed moves to make it compulsory for all dogs in England to be microchipped.

The Government have said the change would help reunite owners with lost or stolen pets as well as improve welfare. Why then, don’t the authorities take that opportunity to force dog owners to register their dog’s faeces (DNA) - if faeces matching their dog’s DNA are left unmoved; the owners should be sent a hefty fine.

"HERE, JOHN, COP FOR THIS LOT"

If these common sense suggestions are not adopted, we will have to put-up with the limited reactions to dog pollution as metered out currently by the council. If that happens, judging by the huge amounts of dog poo found on nearly every footpath in the borough, Cllr John Taylor and his crew will have no option but to close half of Tameside to foot traffic!

Alternatively, the council might find merit in a nasty incident which happened recently, when Job Centre staff refused to hand over dole money to a 21 year old, after he arrived 10 minutes late to sign on.

On being turned away, the furious job seeker marched to a nearby park, filled a black sack with dog muck, returned to the centre - and emptied the foul mess all over the foyer.

He was arrested and has now appeared in Magistrates court, where he pleaded guilty to criminal damage.

He was fined £200 and ordered to pay £63 to have the Job Centre carpets professionally cleaned. 

He was also banned from signing on for three months, meaning he will lose out on £600 in Jobseekers’ Allowance.

So you see, John it might seem extreme, but it does ‘kill a few birds with one stone’ as it were!