THE RETURN OF CAPT’ WEBB

TAYLOR MADE MATCHES MADE IN DUKY

This week we could be forgiven for thinking that that great pioneer to promote aquatic activities has been reincarnated in the form of our local councillor for Markets, who, as rumour has it, (in his dreams) he successfully completed the first solo swim between England and France by emulating a national hero who inspires successful and aspiring swimmers to this day.

I believe it was on the 24^th August 1875 whilst smeared in a pungent mixture of goose and porpoise oil, Cllr John Taylor dived into the Ashton Canal near Dukinfield Junction.

Twenty-one hours and 45 minutes later he waded ashore at Calais and thus upon claiming the town as a candidate for twinning, was quickly elected to the board of Tameside Sports Trust, where he continued to ‘Duk ‘ and Dive’ – creating a phrase and art form which has become synonymous with many local politicians up and down the country!

In this week’s letter, the pioneering councillor; apparently feeling resplendent in his best City Blue holiday Speedo’s; regaled us with a touching soliloquy of one of his weekly trips to Dukinfield Swimming Pool, where he tells us he was pleased to see many parents with their young children, apparently teaching them to swim; in actual fact those devoted parents were more likely to be instructing their offspring on how to keep their young heads above water, especially as this week, the increased council tax demands dropped noisily through every household in Tameside.

Another typical underhanded Tameside council trick which once again puts an extra financial burden on those he purports to represent and ‘do his best’ for!

Now, not being one to let facts get in the way of a golden opportunity to blame others, especially for this council’s shortcomings, Tameside’s equivalent of the ‘Man from Atlantis’ went on to mention the withdrawal of grants. He fails to mention that the issuing and withdrawal of grants, is purely at the discretion of a number of Independent Grant Administrators like The Big Lottery Fund, which uses Lottery money to make positive changes for communities in the UK and at the discretion of local councils

There are many others too.

So if there is blame to be laid, then he needs look no further than into the nearest mirror for not informing the Community Groups of how to apply for funding which supports health, education, the environment and tackling need in communities, whilst leading a group of 52 individuals sitting on a council who seem hell-bent on granting permission to national chains whose business is to open more and more fast food outlets.

All these moving stories of ‘caring councillors’ grabbing every available column inch, whilst never spurning the ubiquitous ‘photo op’, signifies the building propaganda of the approaching local and national elections, in which, for the first time in years, both the Leader and Deputy Leader of Tameside are hoping to be returned to once more drink from the lucrative trough.

It won’t be long now until we hear the continual knock, knock, knocking on doors throughout the borough by multi-coloured rosette wearing candidates, ‘looking for our support’. So, beware, if you question them too rigorously they have been known to turn nasty!

Among these will be the very people who in 2013 declared that both Denton Pool and Dukinfield Pool had reached the end of their useful lives and that the refurbishment of the two facilities would not provide value for money.

They then told us that they intended to then build another pool ‘somewhere in between Denton, Hyde and Dukinfield’ to replace the two they were to knock down. This was suggested using figures supplied by The Tameside Sports Trust!

Briefly, the proposal was to lend Tameside Sports Trust upwards of £8.4 million who would then build and run the new pool. They would repay the loan over 25 years at the princely sum of £347,000pa.

That would bring in an extra £275,000 to shore up the council coffers. Or put another way, £11,000 per year! A pretty poor business deal in anyone’s eyes!

But that was in September of 2013! Since then, as per usual, we have heard precious little about a new pool, but we have seen a few new Kentucky Fried Chicken and refurbished Big Mac outlets springing up to add a bit more weight to the health problems of Tamesiders!

I can’t wait to see what his letter contains next week!