13/10/2016

BEWARE OF THE CLOWNS

Coming to a ward near you!
Following the recent news in the media reporting a spate of incidents in which groups of menacing clowns have been seen marauding the boroughs streets; scaring members of the public, I have to say this is not a new phenomenon here in Tameside!

For many years now, Tameside householders have been confronted on the streets and frequently accosted on their doorsteps by groups of ‘clowns’ badgering, gesticulating, spouting scare stories and stuffing political junk mail through unsuspecting and politically apathetic householders letterboxes.

The predominance of Tameside’s ‘clown’ sightings appear to frequently materialise in the vicinity of Ashton Town Hall - at times that just so happen to coincide with ‘full council meetings’ From there, armed with hundreds of propaganda leaflets, they gather their happy band of pro-clown factions around them and travel unswervingly to their mini-fiefdoms, terrorising all who stand in their path, in their single-minded quest to tighten the grip on their miniscule majorities by maintaining the public’s inconsolable fear of suffering the consequences, should they not choose to vote for the red-nosed nemeses.

Next year, as we approach ‘local election time’ you must take great care.

As a general rule, if a malicious looking, Sunday suited group of clowns materialize uninvited out of thin air, wrapping on your doors, do not encourage them. Don’t answer it, don’t wave at the window, don’t make eye contact, and don’t smile at them and, if all that fails because they’ve caught you unaware, whatever you do, DON’T ACCEPT ONE OF THEIR LEAFLETS!
If you do, the Tameside clowns will have the last laugh, again!

5 comments:

  1. Very good analogy.

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  2. I think it's healthy that political campaigning takes place in Tameside. The politicians come around and take a genuine interest in what people have to say. Labour are particularly active and well done to them! I suppose that explains why they are so electorally successful around here.

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  3. Mr Beefsteak, I agree that it would be ‘healthy’ that balanced political campaigning took place in Tameside, but when one considers the way the local elections are devised, it wouldn’t matter, at the next ballot if the whole of Tameside’s voters chose to vote against the ruling junta, the council would still be Labour controlled.
    There are 57 councillors on Tameside Council. With 51 Labour councillors all chucking a percentage of their generous allowances into a central pot to fund their leafleting, as opposed to 6 Conservatives, is it any wonder that the Labour brand is electorally successful. (That’s a rhetorical question by the way. Don’t feel compelled to respond!)

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  4. And let us not forget the importance of a Free Press. Tameside's local media ("Reporter" "Tameside Radio") is owned by New Charter whose links to the council are well known. Tameside Citizen

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  5. Captain Beefsteak12/13/2016 8:13 am

    Well if the Tories cared about places like Tameside then the central party could send some of the millions it receives in donations from big business up north to help them out. Though of course they don't, and so won't.

    The thing is, if the Tories pooled their resources in to targeting one or two wards in each cycle they could gradually grow their group. However from what I can make out they are all so full of themselves and thinking that they'll win in their own seats that they spread themselves so thinly and get nowhere. I live in Stalybridge, never had so many Tory leaflets as I did this year but they were never going to lose that seat! Politically inept.

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